Back to 1999, TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey was indicted on civil charges of fraud, libel, deception, negligence and misrepresentation in statements she made about the dangers of «cow rabies” (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) in the meat industry and her reluctance to eat hamburgers.
Forced to stand trial in a predominantly white “meat capital” court in Amarillo, Texas, Oprah hired a courtroom strategist, Dr. Philip McGraw, to help her develop a line of defense.
Oprah couldn’t believe what was happening to her. She considered the process completely flawed, because if she lost, she would lose not only a hundred million dollars, but also her business reputation. Despite the high stakes, McGraw believed that she was not prepared to stand up to what was happening. As he recalls in his book, he was forced to look Oprah straight in the eye one night and tell Her to finally “Wake up” and “do whatever it takes, otherwise these guys will strip you and make your ass look like a joke.” McGraw knew it was too bold to say something like that to one of the most powerful women in America, but it had the desired effect. From that moment on, Oprah was determined to win this trial. It was at this point, McGraw believes, that she won. (From The Book “Life Strategies” McGraw)
I think this is a great example to see what you will win or fail, even before you start active real actions. Unconsciously, the person has already decided everything for himself. Follow-up actions only execute a script that has already been created unconsciously.
Why did McGraw think Oprah had already lost without even starting the process?
Because I saw that she was distorting reality in her head. It was based on the fact that this is not true, it is not fair, it should not be so, etc.
Not that she was incapable of winning. She was capable of!
But even such a strong woman, got to the point of their own infantile.
And like a child, she refused to see reality. And this is not surprising, few people would not be confused in such a situation.
But I think that she is a very outstanding woman, because she was able to hear McGraw as an expert who was not emotionally involved in the situation. I put aside my resentment of the “unfair world” and saw the situation as it is. And began to act on the basis of reality. That’s why McGraw thinks she won at this point. The moment of rejection of the “crooked mirror” in your head.
The reality is what it is, and thinking about whether it is right or wrong, fair or not, etc.brings you closer to losing.
And if you accept reality as an axiom “Because it is the way it is, life does not have to do anything, no one promised candies indefinitely”, then there is a chance to win.
After all, the energy to “suffer and complain about injustice” needs as much, or even more as to take and dare to win.
I wish you a lot of victories in the future!